This week's episode was pretty boring. Stuff happened - it was just uneventful and not at all interesting. In other words, no one went nuts-so. It's quickly becoming clear that the show is pretty boring without the drama of someone being needy, delusional, or confrontational. This episode had none of that. Even Krazy Kasey didn't seem to have any new krazy left.
Ali and the boys arrive in Iceland and the trip kicks off with a love poem competition, with the most talented bard winning a one-on-one date with the lovely bachelorette. Extra credit is given if the poem includes Icelandic words. Given only one hour to write and considering the depth these guys show us on a weekly basis, it's no surprise that the next Christopher Marlowe isn't hiding in plain sight. But talent isn't what interests Ali - it appears physical affection is what makes a man stand out in the crowd. Taking a cue from Roberto's moves the week before, Kirk walked up to Ali and gave her a hug while reciting his poem and Frank sat next to her to hold her hands. Ali must've preferred the chest-to-chest action (can't blame her, really) because Kirk was enthusiastically declared the winner.
I've never been to Iceland, but it has to be more exciting than this show is making it out to be. Maybe no reservations were available, maybe the locals aren't fans of dating shows, maybe Ali has a limited imagination (she does tend to use the same vocabulary to describe everyone and everything every week). Whatever it is, Kirk's one-on-one date with Ali was a snoozer. They walked around the city, went shopping, bought (and wore) identical sweaters, fed swans, had dinner. We were supposed to infer the great time they were having by all the smiles and laughs they exhibited, but Ali wasn't satisfied: she needed Kirk to open up more because she wasn't getting a sense of his interest and personality. So Kirk pulled out one of two things to guarantee the receipt of a rose: the near-death experience. An avid runner his whole life (apparently from women, because he's never dated anyone for more than a year), his active lifestyle came to an end in college. Apparently there was a bad mold problem in his apartment, which had adverse affects on his nervous system, making him so sick he almost died. And is now positive and enthusiastic with a renewed sense of life and appreciation for it. Ditto for Ali and her outlook on Kirk. Rose offered. Rose accepted.
The group date with Roberto, Chris L., Chris N., Craig, Ty, and Frank proved somewhat more interesting with a horseback ride in the mountains, spelunking into caves, and soaking in hot springs. Of course the metrosexuals were lost and awkward during the outdoorsy portion, so country boy Ty took the lead and nearly all of Ali's attention. Many soon realize in order to stand out in the group situation, they need to step up to get noticed. Except for Frank - he just sits back getting jealous that his "girlfriend" is slipping away, so Ali reassures him (again) but strongly advises that he stop being quiet and standoffish because it doesn't demonstrate his feelings. She needs to see that he's working for it, so she shows him by giving the date's rose to Ty. Message received.
Other moves:
- Kasey gets stuck on the helicopter volcano tour two-on-one date with his nemesis Justin. Two boys and one girl means someone is definitely going home, so Justin brings his "A" game by getting his cast off and playing the empathy card. The whole "I understand your challenges, so I understand you" can't be a bad strategy, especially when you're up against Kasey. Being up against Kasey is already the best strategy, especially since Kasey decided to unveil his tattoo and his love of loving, giving, and sharing. Finally realizing that krazy cannot be tamed, Ali thanks Kasey for being himself, then thanks Justin for accepting the rose instead.
- Frank steps it up at the rose ceremony, making a move to get the first one-on-one chat with Ali. I don't remember what they said. Every conversation they have seems to be the same, so I'm gonna guess he said how much he misses her and heard what she was saying. And I'm gonna guess she was impressed. She seems easily so.
- Chris Harrison sits down with Ali to talk about the journey so far. While Ali seems hopeful that her future husband is there, she also wants to remain cautious and appears to have some major doubts. Maybe she has daddy issues (he didn't appear on her hometown date with Jake on The Bachelor) or maybe had her heart broken (who hasn't?), but she's worried about loving someone who doesn't love her back and getting hurt. Chris plays armchair psychologist and tells her she's afraid to fall in love.
- Ali likes the pretty, as evidenced by all her conversations with Roberto. Or lack of, actually. They never really talk about anything of substance and I cannot distinguish what their connection is based on other than the fact that Roberto is hot. Or maybe I tune out everything he says, too distracted by his dimples, while he's explaining nuclear theories and talking about his experience building orphanages. Ali must have the same reaction because she tells him again how hot he is, too hot for her, actually. With not much else to say, she simply asks if he would even approach her if they met elsewhere. He plays the "I'm shy" card. The chase is on.
- Chris N. speaks! And...it's pretty uneventful. He said some stuff about the poem challenge, recited his stanzas, blah, blah, blah. And blah is about all he has to offer. At the rose ceremony, he sits down with Ali who tells him she wants to know more, get a better sense of his personality, learn things she doesn't already know. So he tells her he likes Mexican food. And she tells him "buh-bye." Remaining bachelors:
Kirk
Ty
Justin
Craig R.
Roberto
Chris L.
Frank
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